My selfish reason for creating this blog

A lot of my friends have been wondering why I created this blog.

There were quite an amount of guesses that stood out and kind of made sense when I thought about it. Some have guessed that it was only natural because i’m into fashion. Others have said that its a progression of me exploring the other side of the camera and instead of being behind it, now i’m going in front of it. Very valid guesses and I couldn’t help but agree with them. I’m sorry to let you guys down but it was ALL A LIE.

I created this blog 4 years ago with a different intention…

Back in 2010 I started this as a form of creativity and to show to people that everyone can be a model and that even if I just walk around the street and take candid shots of people, I could create images that could be seen on magazines. I wanted to provide inspiration for others to be able to love themselves. To know their self-worth and cherish what they have. It was a noble cause that I wanted to pursue. I was in a very good place back in 2010 and I wanted everyone else to feel the same. 

Life got busy so I had to put the blog on a hiatus.

I was in a constant transition from different jobs and life was great. “I’m moving on up” as they say. All my sacrifices and hard work were all finally paying off. I had finally landed a dream job of mine working for a multi-national company doing what I loved to do and what I was very passionate about. I was with the girl of my dreams and things were great, minus the distance. It was all good though because we had all the tech to compensate for it and it just felt like we were never far apart. I was sitting on cloud 9, I had everything that I could ask for. A career and the woman that I loved.

Life looked great, but was it really?

So throughout the time when I first started the blog (back in 2010) until present time a lot of things have happened as well. Here’s comes the down part. As I was going through the highs, I was going through some lows as well. I guess I was just really good at hiding things from people or covering things up to make it seem like everything is fine. But it wasn’t. There was an ongoing battle inside of me that I created myself and myself alone. I had put certain boundaries and certain “stupid rules” to try and keep my perfect world untouched. I started to create a different “me”. At one point in time, I had forced myself to not look my regular self. I grew out my hair which I had never done in my entire life, and also my facial hair.

Here are some photos for reference:

celebrating a friend's birthday
celebrating a friend’s birthday (2nd from the right)
out at a club when I was working as a photographer/promoter
out at a club when I was working as a photographer/promoter (left)
When I was working at a electronic retail store
When I was working at a electronic retail store

So if you have seen my photos from this blog, you wouldn’t have guessed that this was me at one point in my life. It’s a complete 180 of who I am. I had made this conscious decision to really not make any effort just so I can tell myself that I am trying to deter any attraction from the opposite sex. I told myself that this is the way to make make my long distance relationship work and to further create a sign of trust that I am not out to find any other girl out there while my partner and I are apart.

I was completely lost and blinded.

I was finding myself and losing myself at the same time. At one point I was very happy to have everything that I could ask for my job and my love of my life, and on the other hand, I was loosing my own identity. It was just one crazy rollercoaster ride. Long story short, I got married back in January 2013 and after a year we split up and now we’re going through annulment. I left my job as well and I was just completely lost.

I don’t know who I am…

I couldn’t find my own identity, who I really was and what I really wanted to do. All my passion had left me, I felt dead inside.

Time heals all and gives clarity.

Eventually after through many different experiences with good friends and loved ones I was slowly finding back my groove. One big breakthrough was during the Vancouver Fashion Week back in March a friend of mine gave me a chance to go there and spectate the event. I was forced to dress up due to the nature of the event and sparked my love for photography and fashion once again. It had given my back my confidence.

So here’s my selfish reason…

I brought back this blog and turned it into a men’s fashion site so I could feel good about myself again. I wanted to regain back my lost self-confidence and to further work on my creativity in photography and how I would style myself on my day-to-day life. I wanted to create a platform where people could comment on how good I looked and how well put together my outfit was. I wanted to be separate from others and not just use facebook to post my outfits because anyone can just do that. I wanted a legitimate platform where my love for myself can be shared to others.

I want my selfishness to be seen by everyone.

I want everyone to know that being selfish and loving yourself is important. It’s hard when you get lost, when you can’t find your way that you really have to look hard within you to find happiness. I hope that some of you out there who had been lost or had gone through a similar experience as mine is that you need to look at the positive things and focus on the things you can control which is yourself.

Success will come when you do the things that you love.

So here’s a short version of some of the success i’ve had since I revived this blog.

  • I was one of the models chosen to represent a South Korean clothing line “WYW” this past September for Vancouver Fashion Week S/S 2015 and I have an ongoing collaboration with them as well
  • I was given a chance to do a collaboration with Sebastian Cruz Couture Vegas
  • I am doing a collaboration with Bravo Echo Custom Suits

Seriously THANK YOU to these three people who have put their faith in me while i’m still just starting with this blog.

Thank you to everyone and please share my story if you think its worth sharing and I hope it could inspire others to find themselves and pursue their passion.

There will be more things to come at this blog so please follow me through my ongoing journey through fashion!

Here are some photos of me during the fashion show for WYW this past September 


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